"Hello."
Her voice still sounded good even though I could tell she'd just woken up.
"Hey", I said, "I didn't realise I was waking you up. Are you in the country now?"
"No, I'm in London right now." She seemed to be more awake now, maybe even glad to hear my voice? I didn't know and I thrust that thought from my mind.
"Shall I call back later?", I inquired, totally not meaning it and she knew it.
We both laughed together, it being reminiscent of happier times gone by. I think there was a bit of longing on both sides of the phone, but like always, we never actually acknowledged it.
Her voice brought back the memories, both happy and wildly sad, making me pause before I rushed into it. I knew I had to, before I lost my nerve.
I told her that I had started to see other people again. Not just for a quick romp in the dark, but because I wanted to and because I had met someone who reminded me of her, while at the same time was totally different.
I wanted to tell her that she was the exact opposite in fact, a person who I was not used to liking, but at the same time seemed to embody everything I needed. I didn't though, I couldn't do it to be more honest.
She didn't say anything after that. I knew she was still listening. She wouldn't say anything.
I talked for a bit more, asking her how she was doing. Her forced cheerful voice on the end of the line did not sit well with me. I felt guilty for some reason. I wanted to say, I'd waited for her to look at me the same way she used for so long, but she never did.
I found that someone who would look at me like that.
We ended the call awkwardly. I ran out of things to say and she never really said anything at all.
It shouldn't end this way I thought. I wondered what she was thinking. Maybe she went right back to sleep afterwards. Maybe she didn't.
I hoped it wasn't going to be our last call.
Chances our it might be though.
Peace.
Her voice still sounded good even though I could tell she'd just woken up.
"Hey", I said, "I didn't realise I was waking you up. Are you in the country now?"
"No, I'm in London right now." She seemed to be more awake now, maybe even glad to hear my voice? I didn't know and I thrust that thought from my mind.
"Shall I call back later?", I inquired, totally not meaning it and she knew it.
We both laughed together, it being reminiscent of happier times gone by. I think there was a bit of longing on both sides of the phone, but like always, we never actually acknowledged it.
Her voice brought back the memories, both happy and wildly sad, making me pause before I rushed into it. I knew I had to, before I lost my nerve.
I told her that I had started to see other people again. Not just for a quick romp in the dark, but because I wanted to and because I had met someone who reminded me of her, while at the same time was totally different.
I wanted to tell her that she was the exact opposite in fact, a person who I was not used to liking, but at the same time seemed to embody everything I needed. I didn't though, I couldn't do it to be more honest.
She didn't say anything after that. I knew she was still listening. She wouldn't say anything.
I talked for a bit more, asking her how she was doing. Her forced cheerful voice on the end of the line did not sit well with me. I felt guilty for some reason. I wanted to say, I'd waited for her to look at me the same way she used for so long, but she never did.
I found that someone who would look at me like that.
We ended the call awkwardly. I ran out of things to say and she never really said anything at all.
It shouldn't end this way I thought. I wondered what she was thinking. Maybe she went right back to sleep afterwards. Maybe she didn't.
I hoped it wasn't going to be our last call.
Chances our it might be though.
Peace.
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