Demanding satisfaction for things I don't understand...

Its an odd title I know, but don't judge me for that. I'm tired and lazy. Plus I hate all you guys.

Anyhow the title refers to my incessant need to be included into everything and to be a significant part of everything even if I don't understand what the fuck is going on. (Oh no, I said fuck)

I have what some people call an unquenchable thirst for knowledge... Actually I call it that, everyone else calls me a nosy bastard, with a lot of emphasis on the bastard part of it. Somebody is gonna pay for that.

Right now its starting to get to me, that I am sometimes part of projects or meetings without having a clue about the bigger picture. This is not a good thing and the worst part is, I actually have the power to change this, but I have absolutely no will power left inside of me. Why, tell me why...............

Anyhow I guess that got a bit too much, but like I said this is a bit of a sore issue for me. I sometimes feel I need to chill and let things come to me, but this could backfire on me and I could get into a load of shit or be forgotten if I can't push myself whenever opportunities present themselves. Its irritating to say the least.

Peace.