Making choices

Its been a while since I really posted something personal. i mean I wrote about trips and thoughts, but not something that is impacting me on an extremely personal level.

I guess then its about time I write something.

So far personal issues have been cropping up all over the place. According to my so-called friends I am becoming really emo. That's a lie, I swear... My heart bleeds from a thousand wounds, brought upon me by the daggers of those words...

Anyhow there are things in my life that need changing... Right now I feel like I'm at a crossroads again and things that happen in my daily life are starting to make me realise that maybe I am fooling myself by saying that I can handle living in this country.

Let's put this into perspective. Almost every single person I like in this country is from another country. I can't maintain a relationship with most women anyway, but with locals here, its twice as hard.

A few minutes ago I heard someone say something really mean about this person I think is quite nice. I didn't do anything about that. I couldn't be more ashamed of myself if I tried.

People I once would not talk to, simply because they are mean, heartless, cold bastards are now people I make simple small talk with. Things haven't changed, but unfortunately I have. And its not for the better.

I think this realisation has caused me to rethink what my priorities in life should be.

Something to think about methinks.

Peace.